I think the first image that comes to people’s minds when they hear the word ‘self-care’ is going to the spa, getting a treat, or going on holiday. The idea being that you’re doing something for yourself to ‘take time for yourself’, but I’m afraid self-care has been skewed to revolve around buying things.
Social media influencers are constantly pushing products that will ‘make your life better’, saying very lovely things like ‘you deserve it’ or ‘treat yourself’, but really it’s about them wanting more sponsors. It’s taken a turn where it’s become a brand and clothes are plastered with self-care mantras on them, as if being that specific hoodie will be a boon to your mental health.
But the thing about self-care is: it isn’t always fun. And it changes constantly. I was feeling rather burned out recently so I took a trip to a spa (the irony of my first paragraph, listen I’m not saying these things aren’t self-care, it’s just that there’s more to it). After coming back I knew I had to reach out to friends and make arrangements to meet up. I had time to myself to rest and renew, but I knew I had been neglecting my relationships, so part of my self-care was being the one to make the plans, because it’s so easy for me to isolate myself.
Self-care might be having a pyjama day after a hectic week, or it might be pushing yourself to get dressed and go outside for a walk when you’ve been inside all week. It might be prepping healthy meals, or having a takeaway so you don’t have to cook. It might be making that appointment with the GP that you’ve been putting off.
Sometimes it’s about giving yourself a break, and other times it’s about pushing yourself to do what you know is good for you. I guess it’s about trying to find balance in your life and examining what you need more of. And that takes a lot of introspection. I’m not going to give you 10 Tips for Self-Care because it will be the most generic list that you’ve seen 100 times before. You don’t need to pay for a subscription for an app to know how to practice self-care. If you’re having difficulty figuring out what you need more of, it could be beneficial to talk to a professional, like a counsellor or someone you trust who can offer guidance.
And again, this looks different for everyone. I’m an introvert and I certainly need time on my own. It’s easy to plan that, and I’m always excited to do that. What’s hard is planning to meet with other people - not because I don’t want to see them, but it’s where my doubts come in. I value my time alone, but my life is fuller after being around people I enjoy being around. It’s easy for me to make a spa appointment, not to make a GP appointment. But both are important for my self-care.
It all depends on your personality but also your circumstances, and it changes constantly as it is a balancing act. Self-Care is much like parenting in that sense. Yes, it’s great to get your kids what they want and make them happy, but you also need to make sure that other aspects of their lives are being fulfilled, even if they’re a bit reluctant. Care is not only about doing things that are nice, but they’re also about doing what is needed.
Disclaimer: While I am a qualified counsellor, the content provided here is for informational purposes only. It does not act as a replacement for therapeutic support. If you are thinking about therapy - reach out! My email is gemmaq.counselling@gmail.com and you can WhatsApp me at +353 89 249 2595. You can check out my website www.gemmaquinncounselling.com for more information.
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